Comparison is the death of joy

14 thoughts on “Find Contentment by Ignoring Everyone Else ;)

  1. Just dropping by from Inspired Blogging, its nice meeting you Stephanie. 🙂 I love your blog post very much. So much truth in all that you shared.

    How timely for me to read your post, with the decision I just made this evening to take the summer away from social media. My life has been going through a difficult and intense phase the past 2 years almost, and it’s been so darn hard to show up when feeling less than, amidst all that’s been going on. I’m choosing to give myself a break and a lot of self care this summer, and return online in September. Social media makes it very hard for us to not compare ourselves with the images we see of everyone’s lives and what’s shared online…. of course we never really know the reality of people’s lives and whether they are sharing their reality.

    Thank you for sharing this article. Lovely.

    1. Suzanne, I’m soooo glad this post was meaningful to you. 🙂 I understand going through a difficult phase in life, as I have soooo been there… Such a wise idea, to take the summer off from social media so you can focus on caring for yourself! I hope that in September, you come back feeling refreshed, rested, and at peace. 🙂

  2. I don’t often post about bad things happening in my life, because I’ve always been told that “no one wants to hear you whine.” To be honest, I rarely talk about my personal life directly–it’s all about what I’ve read or seen or think. That might make me seem like having a smooth life without real problems.

    1. I’ve heard the same thing about not whining! And that’s a great example about why we shouldn’t assume things about people’s lives based on what they write. Thank you for sharing!

  3. I think one reason people may not post about painful things is that, yes, no one wants to hear a steady diet of troubles, but also…people don’t know how to deal with pain. You post that your pet died on Facebook, and what do people do, press “Like”? The best some of them can do is put a little sad emoticon.

    It’s like with a painful subject, people are so paralyzed with saying the wrong thing that they say nothing, and that comes off as uncaring, and so the person who posted the painful topic learns to just post the light, frivolous things from then on: the candy crush updates and how they scored on a buzzfeed quiz, because when they actually opened their heart–they were ignored.

    1. You’re right. And that’s a very sad thing when it happens — which is probably far too often. Worry about being judged or ignored can cause someone to protect themselves by being less transparent online. And it would really hurt too, to share something you’re struggling with and have no one respond. 🙁 Definitely when I advocate ignoring others, it’s just in terms of not comparing our lives and thus feeling less worthy about ourselves. We should definitely always reach out to others when we see someone hurting, to help make sure sad scenarios like that don’t happen. Thank you for sharing such a great point.

      1. Oh, I know you didn’t mean “ignoring” that way. I was just saying, there’s a reason people only post the “happy” stuff. It takes courage to share the feelings of uncertainty, especially since there is always the risk that there will be complete silence in response. But God bless the one who reaches out, even if their words are clumsy!

        1. Absolutely! I know I don’t always have that kind of courage, that’s for sure. I really admire people who are transparent about their lives.

  4. So very true. As an Artist, I used to compare myself to other Artist. I would use that comparison to then judge myself….of course, that never went well. It only served to make me feel even more inadequate. It took me several years, but I finally learned NOT to compare, but to be inspired. Inspired to continue to paint, to grow as an artist!

  5. Hello Stephanie,

    This is my first visit here from Inspired blogging group and I must tell you that I thoroughly enjoyed reading your post and I could relate to most points mentioned.

    I used to care and make myself miserable thinking what others said or thought of me. Always conscious feeling sad when I was being talked about or criticized. Life became a living hell.

    It was only after getting married my husband would constantly remind me that this behavior will only make things worse for me.

    I gradually let go of that way of thought and wow….it feels good…I’m happier, free to be me.

    Thank you for the reminder in this post.

    1. Hi Hema! 🙂 Thanks for visiting and I’m soooo glad you liked the post. Wow, sounds like your husband was really helpful in teaching you to let go. It’s still a lesson I have to remind myself about every week, but life is so much better when I can do it. 🙂

  6. So nice to meet you through Inspired Blogging. You bring up such a good point in your post. As an artist it is difficult at times to not compare yourself to all of the art you see online. But like Debbie said above I try to use it as inspiration and continue to work at my level. Thanks for sharing.

    1. Thanks for visiting! I agree — if as artists we can look at others’ work for inspiration rather than a measuring stick of our own quality, that is definitely the best way to go. 🙂

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