(Warning: Spoilers below! Don’t read if you haven’t seen all four seasons yet.)
The Lost writers must really hate love. Ever notice how they take every opportunity to destroy it?
10. All good relationships must end in death.
(Many photos courtesy of Lost-Media.com)
Except for Bernard and Rose, no one on the Island is allowed to be happy. Charlie & Claire? Death. Sayid & Shannon? Death. Jin & Sun? Death. It’s probably a good thing that Kate and Jack haven’t been working out so well. Next time you think about starting a relationship, consider the sad ending you’ll be forcing upon your loved one.
9. Don’t date doctors
Doctors have issues – serious ones. And none are more clearly seen than in Mr. “I want to lead everyone and whine the entire time” Jack. I mean, we saw the flash forwards. He and Kate had a great relationship until he decided to get all controlling. Real smart.
8. Christians are out of luck 🙁
Out of all the characters on Lost, only one never found love. Not only did he never experience love in his past, but he didn’t find it on the Island either. After that he was out of luck because, well, he died. Who am I talking about? Mr. Eko of course.
Devout Christian, but never found a soulmate. Since I’m a Christian too, I guess that means no love for me. Sigh.
7. The Chupucabra of Love
What’s a chupucabra, you ask? It’s a vampire-like creature of Mexican mythology, just like Kate. Yes, on Lost, Kate is the vampire of love. She’s always bouncing back and forth between Jack and Sawyer. But let’s not forget the husband waiting back home, Mr. Super Handsome If Only I Could Meet Him Nathan Fillion. No girl gets that blessed. EVER. Thus, it can only be evil at work within her. Did you really think that Claire disappeared by accident? No. What Kate wants, Kate gets.
6. No Good Deed Goes Unpunished
Sad, but true. According to the Lost writers’ philosophy of life, doing good to others will end up getting you burned. Just take Jack. This guy actually saved a woman’s life and performed a miracle so she could walk again! Wow! Then they got married – hurray! And how did she repay him? Oh, by whining about how busy he was and having an affair. And then when Jack miraculously survived his plane crash, tries to jump from a bridge, and ends up in a hospital? Lovely Sarah says, “I can’t give you a ride home. It would be innapropriate.” Congratulations Sarah! You win!
5. Never accept invitations to a dinner party
Who could ever forget the moment Juliet walked into Ben’s house and saw the candle-filled table and a place setting for two? Ah, poor, naive Juliet, thinking the dinner invitation was all innocent. Ben told her that he was inviting a group. She actually fell for that line?
4. Some people are love-cursed
Certain people just don’t have any luck. The moment they find love, it’s ripped away from them by the gruesome hand of Death. It’s almost like Death is just hovering around them like a black cloud, waiting for them to finally feel happy for just a second, and then… Bang! It’s over.
Yep, that’s the story of our poor friend Sayid. Shannon, Nadia, that girl who conned him for Charles Widmore… It must really suck to be Sayid.
3. Don’t judge a book by its cover.
Throughout Lost, we’ve seen Ben as that creepy, stalker guy who can’t hold a candle to Jack. Jack is tall, hot, smart, kind, compassionate… You know the drill. Meanwhile, Ben is this shorter dude who can’t get a date to save his life and has to kidnap a baby to have a child. But in the last scene of Season 4, all of that changes.
Jack made a bad decision on the Island and he has let it destroy his life. Now he’s a drunk, a drug addict, and seriously hygiene-impaired. He’s whining and crying at the funeral home when Ben shows up. Remember, Ben lost his daughter and is suffering far worse than Jack. But he has it all together, dressed in a spiffy black coat and looking super cool. What happened?
Just goes to show, you can’t tell what’s inside a person by looking at the surface.
2. Good guys really do finish last.
Sawyer’s always been the most handsome guy on Lost, but until this season, he was also the biggest jerk. Back in his con artist days, he got all the women. But then, something happened. All that time on the Island turned Sawyer into a good guy. Suddenly, he started genuinely caring about people: Hurley, Claire, Kate, Jack, Aaron… He went from zero to hero in one season. So what was his reward?
Oh yea, that’s right. He got to sacrifice himself and let baby Jack win Kate. And now he’s stuck on the Island with creepy Miles.
1. Sometimes love really does conquer all… But chances are it won’t happen to you.
Ah, Desmond and Penny. Despite all the obstacles that came between them, including her greedy, controlling Daddy, they still found their way back to each other. Who could forget the sweet phone conversation seven years after Desmond promised to contact her or their amazing reunion on Penny’s boat? True love conquers all…one out of every 1,000,000 times.
Sure, Bernard and Rose experienced it too. But not Jack, Kate, Claire, Charlie, Eko, Ben, Juliet, Nikki, Paulo, Michael, Locke, Hurley, Ana Lucia, Libby… Get the point? True love really is out there and it really does happen. But chances are astronomical that it won’t happen to you. I guess Destiny really is a fickle…
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